When you lose a friend

I'm the kind of person where, if you aren't willing to fight to have me in your life, then if you drift away from me, I won't fight for you - if I'm not worth your time, then why should I struggle to convince you that you need me around?

I've lost friends in my lifetime, who hasn't? Some have been inconsequential - they had a good run in my life, but we just drifted and had no roles to fulfil in each other's lives anymore, and both parties were okay with that. Once or twice, however, there have been important people whose departure from their position close to my heart has caused considerable pain. This, understandably, has happened in the case of boyfriends - if I'm dating you, you are pretty much guaranteed to be a bestie of mine, otherwise why are we even dating? So break ups have caused lost friendships.

Then there's the cases where you have both have changed, and no matter how hard you try, the friendship isn't the same: you don't have the same interests, you just don't get along and have fun in the same ways that you used to, and I've found that I've just had to move on with life and accept that things and people change, even if you don't want them to.

My latest dilemma: when something has happened that shouldn't be coming between you and the friend, but it does. Kind of like if you didn't know your friend was into some guy, and you end up dating him. It's not your fault that you didn't know she was interested in him, and it kind of leaves you in an awkward position - do you give up on the friendship to be with this new guy? Do you leave the guy and save the friendship because friends will always be there for you, but relationships are more than likely temporary. But what if the damage has already been done to the friendship?

This isn't really my situation at the moment, but the damage has probably been done. I don't want to let go of this friendship, it was important to me, even if it did have a weird dynamic. But then I have to question why I want to save it? If they don't want me around anymore, am I just doing myself and the relationship a disservice by forcing it?

My biggest challenge here, I suppose, is the arrogant assumption that this person needs me, and I want to be needed - if they don't need me, am I needed at all? I don't want to lose them, but maybe it won't make a difference. So, like with all things, time will tell, and time will heal if it doesn't all turn out okay.

(Note: the pictures used in this post are just illustrations of friends, not necessarily friendships that are no more)