The Ogre

My name is Insecurity. I have to be the best because the best is the closest I'll ever get to perfection. Or I'll at least be closer than anyone else is. The problem is that I'm not even good enough to compete for this position. The other problem is that there won't only be one person who is the best. We are too complex as individuals, and then everyone else has a different idea of what that best is anyway! So I guess what I want is to be better than as many people as I can in as many people's opinions that I can. Any shortcomings are seen as a failure.

So how do I avoid failure? I don't try at all. If you don't try, you won't fail. You may say, "but then you'll never succeed either..." To which I respond, "I'd be disappointed in my performance anyway, because I could always have done it better."

You're not overly accepted by those around you, so I'm just here to protect you, to make sure no one has the opportunity to judge you. Who are they to judge you? We judge ourselves enough as it is. We are always right, they don't know us.

I am a sneaky conscience. I sit with you at all times. I'm the Super-Ego making you feel guilty for attempting certain failure, and guilty for not having succeeded at anything and everything. I will show you why you should be guilty by taking you online where you won't get a ny work (or life) done. I will show you who you could be: look at those skinny girls on Tumblr, those entrepreneurs on Mashable, those friends on Facebook who have actually progressed to somewhere. I will even let you get inspired and motivated to be like them! But then you'll realise the time, and you'll have to go to sleep, not having moved any closer to achieving your goals. That's something else to feel guilty about. Sweet dreams on that, my dear...

***

Another day and I continue my job. I've been here, growing stronger as you meet and hear about yet moe people who are better than you. Yes, I make your life difficult, and the goals you want to achieve seem ever-distant in their possibility. But each time you achieve one, each time you manage to ignore me or look past me, hasn't that been so much more satisfying and gratifying? Weren't those achievements even greater because you managed to overcome all the obstacles you faced, AS WELL as beating yourself?

Aren't we so much greater for being "Me" (you).